Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
