Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
