I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize