its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize