I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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