Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
