so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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