so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
