Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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