Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
