what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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