I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
