woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize