I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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