I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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