okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh god it's open bar.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
