i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
