Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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