i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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