Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
