My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
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