If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
