So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
