How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How does it feel to date your dad?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
