Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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