My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
