Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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