Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
