they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
