I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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