i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
