I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
