I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
