addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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