this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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