True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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