I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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