3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
They took my balls.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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