she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize