What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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