i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
