Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
