PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
