I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They have beer where we have blood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize