it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
