Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize