Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
