You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize