When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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