i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
