i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
