his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
