I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
