You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
